The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the BrainAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great as well).
B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine like it and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective feelings of attraction, excitement, closeness, love, and well-being .
But when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay men specifically in cosmopolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".
Nonetheless, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!